Culture with lady C Having Sex Before, During and Outside Marriage Final Part III

This is the final part to this series. I hope you have read Part I and II before you comment.

By Lady C

Whilst some of you admit that having sex outside your marriage is exciting and different, it is still immoral and a big sin within your own conscience, in your family, in your own respectable self and most importantly in God’s eyes.

We call it a big sin as it affects not only you but the other person you choose to lay down with, as well as your spouses, children, families, dear and not so dear friends.

It is a silent killer that slowly cracks the rock foundation used to build good healthy relationships that bond together families and special friends. (Like a cracked mirror that shatters lives). It’s a big sin likened to a disease in the sense that it directly contravenes one of God’s Commandments and His stance on that is very clear.

Some folks do it because they are able to elude their spouses and control something so daring and keep it hidden from their spouse – they feel smarter for it!

Some do it for the sheer thrill of it. Others do it simply because they can and want to prove that point to their stupid inner self and moral-less friends that they can hook a hotter catch than their so-called peers, whilst a majority do not stop to think twice about their actions – what they are actually doing and the consequences of their actions – they feel the fear and do it anyway.

For the ladies, it’s all about enjoying new hot sex with a new person, being pampered intimately, exploring each other’s bodies sexually and making them FEEL special, loved and beautiful. Basically, getting shafted on the side by someone who seems new, fresh, exciting, ‘very good-looking’ and ‘influential’; willing to spend some money on you, like pay your school fees or rent (in order for him to get what he wants – a bit like paying you for having sex with him!), willing to buy you expensive toys (that stunning designer item or beautiful car/house), but never spending Christmas and New Year, Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Weddings, Christenings, Mother’s / Father’s Day, attending Sunday Church Service, meeting his parents/family, special family functions with you, you, you! Suddenly, you find yourself all alone when it’s time to attend those special occasions ‘accompanied’.

You do not exist in the daytime when it matters, only at night time when it is dark – you’re a dirrrty little secret – when he needs to fornicate with you, you then become available. Yet, you are not worthy to meet his whole family let alone his parents lest you be deemed a ‘prostitute’ coming to break up their marriage and happy home.

Yes, they call you ‘husband snatcher’, ‘home-breaker’ and even a tart (polite term of endearment for a whore). Some of these men would never ever acknowledge you in the presence of their spouse or family/close friends and naturally ignore you ‘cold’ as though you were not even standing there right under their nose! Painful is not even the word – what they are showing you is your real self worth in reality. You are nothing of value, not worthy of a small hello for fear of a can of worms opening up. You immediately realise that all the deceit, the lavish gifts, the dirty sex sessions and lurid liaisons in unrespectable joints have been used to secretly label you in the community and it’s just not worth the shame, the humiliation, the disrespect and deep pain.

You are selling yourself so cheaply, you become worthless in an instant. It’s such a great pity because oftentimes young ladies, you do not understand their own actions clearly and just go with the flow and have fun. You realise that as a single lady you ought to be dating a single man – that way life is less complicated. But as time goes by, your reputation is tarnished and you scramble to alter your image, drop meaningless friends and totally change your circle of friends. You realise you are somebody – your own mother carried you in her womb for about nine months only for you to bring yourself to this level – how would she feel if she saw her baby in this cobweb of pain? Aside from all the money, worldly ill-gotten gains, would she really be proud of your performance, your actions? Would she really be proud of her little baby’s achievements?

Life is about making personal choices and sometimes we make bad choices, but this behaviour is degrading and affects your moral judgements. Such actions can limit your successes in life as they may come back to haunt you in later ‘successful’ life.

(Former US President Bill Clinton could have achieved so much more but chose to throw it all away for fornication! Leaving yourself open to this type of jeopardy attracts a bigger price to pay; the higher up you climb, the greater the fall and the longer the walk of shame).

“Everyone stamps his own value on himself. Man is made great or little by his own will” – Schiller.

Leaving that lifestyle behind and starting afresh or even keeping it squeaky clean in the first place would be a good place to be in life. You only get one life; you only get one shot at life; so aim well and give it your best shot!

And now for the men folk; is it really worth it in the end?

All that heartache, disgrace and shame on your own family, talk less of on your own self after building yourself a very good reputation. Just one moment of foolishness and you throw it all away.

Many guys like to hide behind their super huge ego and state that it’s a man’s world. Man’s world indeed! If it’s a man’s world then why didn’t God create Adam and Adam? Remember, God created Adam and Eve for a purpose and He didn’t just do it for the fun of it. Whatever we do on earth, we shall answer for when we meet our Creator on judgement day.

Nevertheless, most guys just shrug their shoulders and say ‘Oh well, life is for living and I wanna live it my way’ or ‘I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it but for now, I’m not gonna miss out on all this beautiful free pussy’, ‘I am in the right place at the right time’. Blissfully unaware that the devil is tempting them and claiming lives when God has already ordained a bright future for you! All you have to do is claim your destiny but you rather stumble at the first hurdle and please the devil.

Okay, rather than weigh you down with religious ethics as this is not a Christian sermon (“Ahhh!” I hear you sigh), let me add that you will surely reap whatsoever you sow!

Let me ask the guys one thing. As a married man, what on earth do you really get out of taking out another woman and having sexual relations with her? I mean, flaunting her in front of all your mates and acting as though you are very ‘capable’ of doing what you are doing (and so what?!!) and then shagging her silly before going back to your beloved wife and children? I doubt whether most of you would even consider using a condom as it (most probably) defeats the objective for you. You need to feel the real thing because it’s so much sweeter and besides, she hasn’t got HIV or other STDs. (Like she printed that on her forehead) !She’s my little angel and she’s very innocent, very clean…….mmmm…….one actually wonders whether HIV didn’t sneak into many happy marriages that way. Not that using a condom makes it better, but does today’s man really need to go down that route at all?

Category : Columnists, Culture & Fashion, Lady C and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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22 responses to “Culture with lady C Having Sex Before, During and Outside Marriage Final Part III”

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  15. mulondwe muzungu says:

    Lady C I am pretty sure you yourself have had it either before you were married or outside marriage so please do not preach to us

  16. Kambole C says:

    ‘Analysis’, I disagree. There is no trial and error with human beings. People differ, and ‘testing’ two will not make you ready for the third, or ‘ten’ make you ready for the eleventh. We are all like diff musical instruments, each with something unique. THere is no perfect preparation for a person, no test run, just assesing character and personality, and the rest falls into place…For those who want to always test something new, do they change once married?…

    • Joacir says:

      I would indeed buy books by Zambian women that chgaelnle the whole persona of what a Zambian woman should be but actually is!the cookie cutter approach does not work for any group,person or society.Zambian women could write about anything and everything they want to..but must not be afraid!I am an aspiring female writer,Zambian,but not living there at the moment.The chgaelnle I face is being afraid that I will be shunned for expressing my views..however radical they may be.A man writing about problems women are facing?If they write it as an observer then sure,but they cannot express exactly how we feel.

  17. Elalio Silunyange says:

    The’re three sides to a story: the good, the bad, and the ugly.Or rather in the real sense;my version, her version,and the truth.Lady C’s is the truth,it comes with a bit of pain.We all know the right thing to do,but Lucifer the General seem to win over good in the short run.Whatever you want to believe in have fun. Make an Informed decision.Keep shooting Lady C.

    Chikubabe weka says:

  18. Hmmmm says:

    Lady C,
    Thanks for the article.
    @people who haven’t gone that route and may sometimes want to – for the fun of it, its a good reminder that the end of it isn’t worth it.
    @parents & teachers, its a reminder to teach kids that they don’t have to end up with unnecessary scars.
    @those who want to change…you’ve read the story the way it usually ends in your head too when you stop to think. Choose to live.Life is equipped with principles…if you seek for what you want (God didnt make it for Christians only) whether its finances for school or more fun in your sex life, you will find moral ways to get it.
    Lady C, don’t stop writing just because someone thinks its hopeless because its not! Everyday people see things like this that give them that extra push to change their lives.

  19. Analysis says:

    If Lady C’s articles were written way back in time they probably would have had the effect intended on the audience. Lady C your article is about 30 years or so late! In this day and age when teen like to listen to their raw models like Rihana openly talk about how roughly they like to be treated in bed. Telling them that it’s good to be a virgin before you get married,they won’t have it, they will think you are either mad or old fashioned or both. What they like to see or hear is totally opposite to what you are writing about. They like to see ‘cool’ things on MTV or read magazines about celebreties. I hope you are aware that your writing is only targeted to us that wish and brood about how nice the world used to be before all the changes the have happened over the generations. The digital and facebook generation dosen’t wanna hear all thi load of rubbish. God forbid!

  20. Analysis says:

    Lady C with due respect, you bunachimbusa
    does not appear to tell the audience anything new. It’s raw and almost predictable. Man and woman has one life and the altimate in life is sex. Man should at the very least have a test of two sexual partners to compare and fulfill the in-born urge. This may be same time or different times. More of a thrill when it’s at the same time!

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